Oh man, today’s Daily Deutsch has had me giggling like a Catholic school girl for hours.
It seems like one of those ordinary German words when taken at face value: Schnitzel. You know, like wiener schnitzel, which most Americans will know as the “fancy” term for a breaded pork cutlet that looks a bit like this:
When I asked my Italian-American-German friend what she thought of when she heard the word schnitzel, this image above is of course what she thought of. No longer.
You see, schnitzel is also used by the more crass (crasser?) German speakers to refer to female genitalia. Not Scheide, which is too formal (and which I can’t say without mixing up with the word Scheibe, a slice of bread). Not Muschi, which when pronounced incorrectly, could lead you to the nearest mosque if you’re ever so inclined to stop someone and ask where the nearest pussy is (not that any of you would, but, you know, the proper pronunciation of these two similar words is an hour-long lesson for people learning low-level German). And the pussy meant here does not, of course, mean a cat nor is it of the schlappschwanz variety.
Now here is where the funny begins. Take a second; clear your mind and your throat. Imagine your best German-accented English (or Mike Myers’ best German accent).
Now imagine someone saying, “I vant a viener schnitzel.”
This, my friends, is what regressive development looks like: acting like a pubescent by laughing at even the stupidest words which could have sexual connotations. And wiener + schnitzel is a winning combination.
I pity the poor schmuck who next orders this dish in front of me, for he will likely get a mouthful of red wine spat all over him.