Sorry, sweets, not tonight

I hate to disappoint my adoring fans, but here’s a short list of reasons why I can’t write anything funny today:

1. I’m American. Tomorrow is April 15th. I am drowning in numbers right now.

2. My accountant literally laughed at my bookkeeping abilities on Friday.

3. I forgot to download over a year’s worth of bank statements so my paper trail for both the IRS and the Finanzamt is nill.

4. The Finanzamt decided this is the year to declare my business as official which means I have to get binders full of bullshit together for them. (see number 2)

5. I can’t get my divorce paperwork finalized until I fill out 50 pages of forms for the pension office so I can get a couple of cents from my ex-husband’s measly retirement fund for the year I took off work to raise our daughter. No alimony, laughable child support, none of the savings he took with him when I left, but a couple of cents if I fill out 50 pages of paperwork.

6. The sun finally shined in Germany today so I am only just now getting to items 1-5 on the list.

7. I leave for the French Riviera for a much-needed, internet-free vacation this week. The dream that I can talk my way onto one of these is what’s keeping me going right now.

Hvar boats

8. Because taxes, they will destroy your soul.

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